Wednesday, March 23, 2011

If You Only Knew...

I want so badly to put up walls. To keep you out.

It is fear.

It's the fear that no one will be there, that no one will catch me.

That if I scream no one will hear me.


That no one will ever love me completely.

I am afraid.

But, despite this fear I want to move forward and live. I don't want it to hold me back anymore.

This song really captured my feelings the last few days.


Afraid This Time- Celldweller

Even if you want, you can't touch me now
Leave me if you want, you can't hurt me now


Build them up - high and strong,
so you'll never have to hurt too long
Put them up - til they surround,
and there's no real you left to be found
Hold it up - high above,
no fear of hope or trust or love
Close it up - and hold your ground,
and wait until it's time to finally close it down


Even if you want, you can't touch me now
Leave me if you want, you can't hurt me now
This isn't easy to admit, I don't think I'm believing it
I'm afraid this time
This isn't easy to admit but I don't think I'm believing it
It's not the same this time
This isn't easy to admit but I don't think I'm believing it


This isn't easy to admit, but I'm afraid...

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