Time is precious.
It isn't reversible, and it isn't a commodity that we have an abundance of.
It is like drops of clean water, falling from the sky, in a country which has known naught but drought for centuries. It can appear, and then vanish, swallowed by the thirsty ground of eternity, never to be found again...
Isn't time really the greatest gift that you can give to another?
Recently, I began a process.
This process involved the difficulty of burning some difficult bridges.
Let me back up and start over.
There are two kinds of people in this life.
There are givers and takers.
Givers, ironically enough, give. Crazy, right?
They go to great lengths to forge relationships. The cost doesn't matter, the time spent doesn't matter, what matters is getting to know the other person.
It is a very worthwhile and noble pursuit in my opinion.
Takers don't necessarily initiate. They allow the giver to make the effort.
They are not as good at reciprocating the attention which is lavished upon them.
Givers and takers. All people. All flawed in their own ways.
There are dangers to both, admittedly.
I tend to be a giver. Not always, but oftner than not I trend this way...
I love people, and the process of getting to know each unique individual that I cross paths with.
I trust people easily, and trust that they will respect my time, as I value theirs.
But, when you give to takers, the giver is faced with the shaking realization that they are not, and will never be, enough.
When you pour out everything you have, and receive nothing in return, only emptiness remains.
I reached this point, and the ache of the emptiness left within brought me to question myself.
I questioned if I have anything of value in me, anything worth knowing.
I questioned why those I had been investing my time, efforts and soul into, didn't seem all that interested in me.
It is a scary thing, to feel like you are worthless.
It is in these times that I find the voice of God often whispers to us through those we love.
A good friend told me that I trust too easily.
That I throw myself in, 100%, to new friendships without even allowing a level of mutual trust to be built. I have given, too freely, the gift of time to others...the greatest gift one could ever hope to give, and have had nothing to show for it.
No wonder this emptiness that I felt was so devastating. So conflicting.
I am not, by any means, saying that trust is a bad thing, however, when we give our time in the pursuit of another, whether a simple friendship or more, we have to know that they will honor this gift, not take it for granted.
I'm learning to be more sparing with my time.
I'm learning to be more particular with my friends.
I'm learning that, until the effort is reciprocated, others are not worth my full heart and soul.
Not that they are worthless, I promise you this is not what I mean in the least!
But, I am simply stating that they will not receive my full, and undivided attention as others who are trustworthy do.
Your time is valuable.
That is why I love having you stop by here.
I realize that you may take but a few minutes reading a line of my life, but may you know that I value each minute; because in those precious moments you have given me the greatest gift you could ever give...