Monday, February 13, 2012

Burdens

I could see it in the rapid shift of her mood. Something wasn't right.

Shoulders slumped, demeanor spiraling down, as dark clouds rolled across her face.

I asked what was wrong. She told me that she had heard, via text, of a health complication with a family member. A family member who meant quite a lot to her.

I could tell that she was putting on a brave face, but the uncertainty, worry and sadness all bled through the calm, nonchalant exterior, as she struggled to hold it together.

I tried so hard to cheer her up. Gave her a hug, tried to tell a joke, but I could tell that my efforts were all in vain.

What is it about sadness that causes us to take up a burden of solitude? Why do we feel the need to carry this weight on our own?

I wished so desperately that I could take my place alongside her in that moment.
I wished that I could share what she was carrying. To let her know that she wasn't alone...

Sometimes I just want to scream, because I'm not able to create peace. Have you ever wished that? What a beautiful thing it'd be, to be able to give peace to another. Only I cant. It's like being in a dream, and you're watching tragic things unfold before your eyes, yet you're powerless to stop them.

I'm not the one who can heal a bleeding heart. It's in those moments that I feel less than significant. I'm reminded of my own inadequacy, and that power alone belongs to one greater than myself.

How I wish I could carry your burden with you my friend, if you'd only let me have the chance I'd do it in a heartbeat. I wouldn't even know where to begin, but I'd try as hard as I know how.

I can't give you peace, but I pray that you find peace in the One who can. I pray that you find refuge in the shelter of Almighty wings...

2 comments:

Laena said...

I wrote this poem a while back, but it seems to fit here. I often feel exactly this way.

Inadequate

There are times when
I'm sorry
just isn't enough...
times when the wounds are so deep...
words are meaningless
and all I want is to run to his side
to hold him
and stay with him...
to comfort him
to care for him
to love him...
At times
I feel his pain
as though it were my own
and I sit
weeping
wishing I could really take it on
myself
so it wouldn't be his
so his pain would stop
so he wouldn't remember anymore...
because it breaks my heart
when his is broken...
Sometimes I feel...
completely inadequate
and all I can do is
pray.

I think it's normal to want to carry each other's burdens. We don't want to see the ones we love experiencing pain. And I believe, when we are not only sympathetic, but empathetic, to their suffering, all we want to do is fix it, change it. But you're right. We can't. And your also right that, fortunately, there is One who can.

Great post, Josh. And what an honest communication o your love and concern for your friends.

Josh said...

Awesome poem! Wow! I love seeing people write poetry (like my friend Rachel the Hippie from many many posts ago) and who are quite good at it!

The other thing I thought of is that, though we want to fix everything, when we're helpless to do so it teaches US things like patience, trust and faith. Sometimes the struggles of others, aren't merely a refining process for them, but us as well. hmm.