It was the joke of the decade, about a decade ago.
Perhaps you know, perhaps you don't, but my friends and I were all big band geeks during high school.
Back up a second.
In music programs there are generally three main sects of music student. You know how Islam has the Sunni, Shia and Sufis? Well, music programs have band, orchestra, and choir. Ha! Bet you never saw that "compare and contrast" in your old English text books!
Anywho, I'll skip over the orchestra, and choir sects because, frankly, I don't care what happens in Choirville.
The important sect of the music world, the band, is divided into many small factions. Each contributing to the whole in their own distinct way. Each section, I noticed, has a personality to it.
So let's explore the band today, shall we?
First up, the flutes.
The flute section is comprised of high strung, borderline OCD, overachievers. I'm serious. Often times the first chair (aka, the best flute player in the section based on the band director's opinion), is practically a robot with all the things she (sometimes a he, but rarely), is involved with. Flutes tend to be chatty Cathys, and annoy the shit out of all the sections around them. There are a few down-to-earth types, but alas, they're few and far between.
Moving along to...the Clarinets.
Clarinets are much like cheerleaders when ya think about it. Cheerleaders are kind of the dance/ poms team dropouts, much like clarinets are flute rejects. They didn't quite make the cut. Or maybe they just didn't care enough to try.Many clarinet players enjoy the social aspect of band over the musical aspect. They don't take it too seriously, and are often the section of choice when it comes to inter-dating amongst band members.
Saxophones try to be bad-asses. They rarely succeed. Don't get me wrong, they can be pretty jazzy at times, and make me wanna play some Sinatra as I'm trying to convince luck to be a lady at the local casino, but they aren't rock star material. They're just average Joes (and Janes) who tend to enjoy the band experience, but try not to let it show too much...
Low Brass: The low brass section is comprised of Baritones, Tubas, Trombones, and occasionally a Barry Sax player who, apparently, has been shunned from his own community. Low brass really isn't a section though. They're just kind of leftovers. Even more disorganized than the clarinets, the low brass section tends to hold a plethora of personality types, but oftner than not, they can be divided into one of three categories.
1) Really talented, and love band with all their heart, mind and soul.
2) Really love band, but really suck at their instrument
3) Really hate music in general (Mom and Dad made them join band).
The trumpet section is generally...hmmm. Very loud. Not just in playing, but in personality as well. They will often offer opinions where they aren't needed. They can be very boisterous, and not very tactful. Trumpets are glory whores. Plain and simple. They love to be heard, looked at, and admired, (worshiped?) even if every one else thinks they're just a bunch of a-holes.
French Horns: Neither high brass, or low brass, nor even french. If I hadn't looked at a seating chart of the band, I wouldn't have known this section even existed. One can tell they're talking to a french horn player by the vacant dreamy expression that can be found on their faces.
Percussion: Have you ever noticed that percussionists are always tapping on anything their hands are near? This is a section full of un-diagnosed-ADHD-spazzy McGee's. They generally take a band course because it's an easy "A", and they can fulfill the constant need they have to beat on things...even if it's completely out of place in the music.
Not technically part of the band, as they have no musical talent, but who doesn't love people who can throw rifles, sabres, and shit, and not die? Holla!