I was recently reminded why I'm not crazy about the bar scene.
So here's the story...
I went out several nights in a row for my birthday weekend. I should preface this by saying that, since summer started, I've been working about 80ish hours a week, and it took it's toll for sure! So coming off that, and going into my birthday weekend, I decided that I needed to cut loose a bit. Live a little.
And it was a lot of fun!
So one night, I met up with my friends at a popular campus bar. The drunken revelry was already in full swing by the time I got there. Loud music. Lights flashing. Drunken make-out sessions.
Typical college bar.
Does it make me old if I want to go home already, and sleep instead?
No! I've gotta cut loose a bit tonight. Go have fun, or else!
So I take a couple shots with my friends, and right as I'm enjoying a nice, cold Spotted Cow, I heard my name being called.
Strange. Where is this summons coming from?
I glance around in a bit of a haze, and see a friend of mine halfway across the bar yelling for me. Miracle I could hear her over the noise, but anyway...
She looks at me, and, in a very demanding tone says; "Buy me a drink."
Apparently I didn't have a choice in the matter.
I may have been in a haze prior to this, but everything got real clear, real fast.
Oh, hellllll nah.
I just looked at her like she was crazy, so she migrated to the next unsuspecting victim.
Now I'll say this, first off. This girl is a sweetheart. I'm sure she didn't mean to be rude or anything, but I'll tell you why this bugged the hell out of me that night.
I work hard for my money.
I like spending my money on my friends.
I even like buying a drink for ladies on occasion, BUT...
I'm not your personal bar tab.
If you want me to buy you a drink, don't yell at me from across the bar, come have a drink with me. I'm not asking for your whole night, just one damn drink. Don't just think that because you have a pretty face, a lovely smile, or a skimpy little dress on that I'm just going to be a big dumb animal and give you whatever you want. I'm not. Other guys might, and if so, go find them.
That's not me. Sorry to disappoint. It used to be me, but not anymore.
Just because a single guy is at the bar, doesn't mean he's looking to drop his wallet on drinks for you, in hopes of hooking up. The same is true for ladies. Just because she's there without a date doesn't mean she wants all the creepers to hit on her all night. It goes both ways.
I write a lot about girls sticking up for themselves, and they should, but I don't write nearly enough about guys holding their own.
Not all guys are pigs, contrary to some of my lady-friends' beliefs.
Some guys would love to take a nice girl on a real date, or buy her a drink at the bar. Some guys will do that just to see a girl smile. Some guys are too damn nice. And by being too damn nice, they let all the pretty girls walk all over them.
Then the jerk guys, walk all over those girls, and the cycle continues.
I didn't write the rule book of life, that's just how it happens.
But, nice guys, you gotta stick up for yourself. Save your money for a girl that will appreciate the drink you buy her. Don't spend it on a girl who won't give you the time of the day.
When you can say no, as much as you say yes, you start to find not only confidence, but you see who sticks around, and who's gone the next minute.
The people that stay are the ones that matter.