I'm not gay.
Ok, time to rewind, right?
I think it's only fair that I provide you with the context for this wonderful post, which I am about to write.
It was a dark and stormy night... No. That's not the right one. Hang on a sec...
Ah, yes, so last night a couple friends came over and we hung out for a bit. One of my friends (a relatively new addition to my 'friends' category, yet still just as lovely) texted me after they left, and asked a deeply personal question to me.
"What team do you play for?"
Naturally, I thought she was speaking of Harry Potter, and thus responded; 'Why, Gryffindor, of course!'
Apparently, this wasn't what she was trying to figure out. So I tried to think of what she might have meant...
"What team do I play for?"
Wait...what? Did she just...
Yep, she did. She's totally asking if I'm gay! Gahhhhhhhhh.
I proceeded to tell her that I'm about as straight as an arrow, and inquired as to her confusion on the subject. Her reasoning was simply because my apartment was ridiculously organized for a guy my age...
Oh damn. it. all!
Now, mind you, this isn't the first time this has happened to me. I've had several people, who don't know me better, ask me that same question. Sometimes, they don't even ask, I can just tell by their interactions with me that they have a certain impression in their head about me. So this is, by no means, me talking down on this friend of mine. Not in the least.
The thing is, mostly these assumptions are bred from superficial, and stereotypical sorts of images that people carry about the dividing line between "gay" and "straight."
Things like, enjoying shopping (I do, I like to buy new shit ok?), being conversational and friendly (God forbid), types of music I have on my iPod, not being afraid to go dancing and then actually dancing when you go, a neat/ organized apartment...that kind of stuff.
The thing is...the text got me thinking really how sad the caricature of a "straight guy" has become.
I'm not sports obsessed. I don't rattle off statistics to impress women (who generally aren't impressed by sports knowledge anyway).
I don't 'hit the gym' like it's a religion.
I don't sit around on the couch scratching my balls all day.
I don't believe that all women are good for are sandwiches and sex.
I don't speak in unintelligible grunts either.
You get the idea.
You'd think that, by talking to many women, that those are the only type of straight guys there are in the world. No wonder they'd want a 'gay best friend.' They smell better, clean up after themselves, and go out and have fun in a relational way. Well, shit, who wouldn't take a friend like that over the straight guy caricature.
The fact of the matter is, that there are straight guys who aren't pigs. Ladies, did you hear that? There are guys out there who value the things that really matter.
There are guys who value the idea of family, commitment and marriage.
There are guys who value women for more than what they can "get out of them."
There are guys who hold their faith and values in high esteem.
There are guys who get off their butts and go to work, so that you don't have spend you're entire youth taking care of them.
And there are guys who are capable of using more words than: Ass, rack, and lame.
I promise. They aren't fictional. :)