Friday, December 21, 2012

Post Apocalypse Regrets...

So... The world did not, in fact, end today as the Mayan calendar predicted. Or, rather, as we assumed the Mayan calendar predicted. This really threw a kink in my plans, if I can be perfectly honest with you.

I've compiled a list of post apocalypse regrets here for your enjoyment...

1) I now have an abundance of granola and Campbell's chunky soup. By abundance, I mean enough to feed a small African colony.

2) Most of my clothes are packed up. Great, now I've got to UNpack them!

3) It was probably a tad premature to tell my boss exactly what I thought of him...

4) That "one day notice" I submitted at work?? I kid, I kid!

5) Probably shouldn't have poured so much money into a state of the art bunker in the middle of Mississippi. The location is terrible to sell, even in a bull market.

6) Those classes I took on the art of semaphore seem a bit silly now.

8) Because I can't tell you number 7.

9) I have more candles now than a Yankee Candle store.

10) I've been filtering water like crazy lately, honestly, I've grown far too snobby for tap.

11) All my luxury possessions that you won in an eBay auction? Yeah, I'm gunna need those back.

12) Crap, I still have to pay rent...

And finally...

13) That tattoo I got, bearing the crest of the New World Militia which would rise from the ashes of Armageddon and begin to forge a new society, will be a bit difficult to explain at upcoming family gatherings...

Happy post Apocalypse day my friends!

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