Sunday, January 20, 2013

The Eleventh Commandment

There is an eleventh commandment. 

And since I'm so nice, I'll share it with you.

It all started when I had roommates. A period that I fondly refer to as...hell. Don't misunderstand, my roommates were nice enough, decent people. I wouldn't mind hanging out with them, I'd just never want to live with them. I don't live with people. Not my thing.

This particular roommate worked all the time. It was great. I normally had the place to myself, and didn't have to worry about factoring another person's schedule into the shower rotation. But he still lived with me, and we still shared common areas of the house. One day, I ran in from work, and alarms started going off in my head... I knew I had to, you know...use the facilities.

So I booked it inside, swiftly entered the old water closet, and it wasn't until I shut the door that I realized...there was no TP.

Well what the crap?

Ugh, he probably just forgot to replace it. No big deal. It kind of annoyed me, if I'm honest, but I didn't want to be that ridiculously picky roommate. So, I just let it slide.

A few weeks down the road, it happened again.

Now I'm feeling quite bothered by the whole situation. Seriously, how hard  can it be to replace the roll when you're done with the first one? This isn't brain science, or rocket surgery people.

This time around, I made sure to leave an extra roll on the back of the toilet. Just in case it was too terribly hard to, you know, make it to the closet right next to our bathroom for the replacement.

You can guess what happened, right?

Yeah, it ran out again, and he DIDN'T REPLACE IT!!!!

All this time I'm thinking...'Dude, what is this guy's glitch? I did virtually all the work here!'

So, I just placed the new roll on TOP of the old empty one, thinking, 'Maybe he'll get the hint this time.'

That TP sat there for, I kid you not, a week.

By this time, I've definitely got my rage face on, hardcore. My roommate moved out shortly after. Not 'cuz I blew my top on him, but for other reasons.

But, let me tell you, if I ever live with someone again, and they try to pull that crap on me, someone's going to get seriously jacked up!!

The Eleventh Commandment: He who useth the last of the bath tissue, shalt replace it, or thou wilt be smote down by thine roommate.

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